Everything seems to be imploding all at once and we've got a lot to talk about. Read more about the girl-on-girl kisses, quasi-nudity and general shenanigans these kids are getting up to after the jump.

Also, why did you think you could tangle with Jasper? He's a drug-dealer and he broke your arm. Clearly, he has a few tricks up his sleeve.

Was Naomi always this dumb? We know Naomi was cast as the spoiled, naive rich girl, but yesterday was just painful. From buying Ivy a Fendi baguette (we at the CW Source feel you should not tease us with that word unless you're talking about actual French bread -- and you have enough for us), to giving Adrianna a rum and coke, to her treasure trove of idiotic word vomit ("I thought it was another Chinese scam like tai chi or acupuncture!"), she was just a ludicrous mess. Is it a rule on network television that the blond bombshell has to play up her hair color? Because we object to that misnomer.

But she was definitely good for some laughs. Lightening up these teen soap operas is what the CW does best and we can't get enough. The weather is cold here. We need something to brighten up our day.

Was Dixon always this shifty? Dixon was all over the moral map last night. First of all, he lies to Silver and agrees with her that their kiss was a mistake. Then he lies to Teddy and tells him that they're probably going to get back together, which there definitely had to be a more tactful way of doing. Then he tries to win Silver back my asking her to "just forget everything he said" when they were breaking up. Words exchanged during breakups are hard to forget, Dixon, and you haven't exactly proven yourself a trustworthy friend, either.

On top of all this, he finally agrees to help Navid plant the drugs in Jasper's locker. At least this we can kind of understand, since Dixon changed his mind to protect Annie. But we still wish we knew what was going on in that head of his.

Sidenote: Why are students allowed to kick box and told to aim for "near the groin"? That just seems like a disaster/lawsuit waiting to happen. We get that it elevated the drama of the scene, but that could be demonstrated with any competitive activity. Basketball scrimmage, Hungry, Hungry Hippos; just something that doesn't involve delivering round-house kicks.

Was Adrianna always such a boring kisser? We have the answer to this one: No, she was not. As we recall from her other partners, she's a great kisser. So why would she bother to sit on Gia's lap only to kiss her like a seven-year-old boy who pecks his crush after pulling her pigtails? If you're going to try and make Gia's ex jealous, you should at least put some effort into it. We're really hoping that a more interesting exploration of teen sexuality is in the works. These are big issues, let's talk about sex, baby.

Was Jasper always giving you the "Fear" vibe? Because we were definitely feeling the Mark Wahlberg/Reese Witherspoon thing in this episode. There is something very sinister brewing in Jasper, who showed Annie his true colors when he essentially blackmailed her into staying with him. Along with all the "love you forever" texts and random violent outbursts, we're fairly certain this plot line is going to come to a rolling boil.

All in all, it was a pretty satisfying episode. It hit the ground running with lots of dramatic sub-plots and plenty of opportunities for the characters to get themselves into trouble for our amusement. Whether or not that gets old and results in us screaming at the television screen in exasperation like we do with Serena van der Woodsen is a mystery for the time being.

Other points to note:

• We know that Debbie is a mom and therefore nosy as hell, but helping Kelly find a man is only going to backfire. Like everything else on this show.
• Did Teddy have to lay the player thing on so thick with Silver? We know he's trying to help her get over him and help his friend get back together with her, but the player monologue was just hurtful. It's called "letting her down easy." Look into it.
• We totally remember playing Ivy's "I'm just the friend and I don't like you like that" cool thing. It never works out, kid; go for the jugular.
• About Naomi and the flasher coat: Really CW? Two naked bodies under coats in one week? By the way, Serena pulled it off much better, since she actually attended her event clothed to begin with, whereas Naomi looked like Carmen Sandiego on a hot date.
• Scratch hot date. "House call."

Read more about the web of lies at Melrose Place after the jump.

Jonah needs to take a lesson from Lauren and lie a little
They may have been on a break but silly Jonah feels the need to expose his Ella secret to Riley—mainly because Ella insists on it. Then, he was either smart enough or chicken enough not to tell the truth, which infuriates Ella who tells Jonah to grow a pair and figure out what he really wants. What we see is that Ella really wants him to want her.

Party time at Ben Brinkley’s house
For some reason Amanda wants everyone who resides at 4616 Melrose Place to come to her big coming out party at Ben’s (we find out later that she wants to have their apartments searched for a piece of art while they are away—she’s so savvy!). When Amanda cans the caterer last minute, Ella hires hot, sexually frustrated Auggie who starts out okay but then proceeds to get drunk while on the job. Violet discovers the mess and tells him that they aren’t doing themselves any favors by staying in LA and living at Melrose. They’re tortured souls and they need to move on—besides, their contracts have been cancelled.

Amanda’s beau could be perfect—he’s hot and he buys her shoes…and cars!
Amanda’s bearded Ben Brinkley had us at hello. But when he disappoints Amanda with a convertible Bentley (we’d love to be disappointed like that!) instead of a few karats on her finger and then gets caught flirting heavily with Ella, his charm sputters a bit. Okay, not really—we still love him—except for the part of him that speaks fluent Klingon.

Then, when Ella runs after Amanda to tell her that Ben was just getting her opinion on his “backup gift,” we think that the woman might actually show us her soft side. We also wonder why Ella and not Ben went running after Amanda—but we digress. Instead, Amanda really let’s Ella have it, telling her that she was presumptuous to think that she’s be threatened by her. She may be attractive enough to catch Ben’s eye, but in the grand scheme of things she just doesn’t measure up. She’s nobody. It’s clearly not Ella’s day.

Time to get truthy…or not
Jonah and Riley have such a great time at Ben’s party that Riley takes him back into one of the deserted rooms and tries to seduce him. She wants to start over and live for the moment. He chooses that moment to tell her what happened with Ella the night before. She’s devastated and tells him she doesn’t even know him. Then Jonah heads to David’s to get some comfort from his friend, who ironically hasn’t been told the truth by his girlfriend.

At the end of the night Ben tells Amanda that he knows he blew it with the Bentley and Amanda almost let it slip that she was hoping for a marriage proposal. When he asks her if she’d like that she tells him of course not, they’re not ready for that yet. But we all know the truth. For a smart guy, Ben’s pretty dense when it comes to the chicks.

Auggie must have decided that Violet was right about bailing town. In the fastest move we’ve ever seen, Auggie’s entire apartment is cleaned out, leaving just a goodbye note for Riley, and he and Violet speed off into the sunrise.

Doctor Mancini’s positive prognosis for Melrose Place
Even though the ratings for the first half of the Melrose Place season weren’t stellar, Thomas Calabro (our own Doctor Mancini) hasn’t given the show a terminal diagnosis. In fact, the good doctor recently told E! Online that if it’s anything like the MP of the 1990s, it’ll struggling at first and move on to be a huge hit. Besides, things are looking good internationally for the show and expect to see a few more Melrose alums to show up at the famed courtyard.

What will it take to make the new MP a bona fide hit? The return of Jake? More catfights? A haunted pool? Tell us here—in the comments!

Meanwhile, Dan sits at home by the phone waiting for a call that’s never going to come from Vanessa, and Jenny continues to cavort around with Damien, participating in his illegal extracurricular activities. Those Humphreys...if it's not one thing, it's another.

Here’s a few more reasons we’re happy the gang is back:

Worst accessory: Blair’s earrings at the dinner for the French ambassador. If the earrings are bigger than your ear, put them down.

Most inexplicable storyline: Jenny selling drugs. We still can’t figure out what would motivate Jenny to risk everything to give a few addicts their fix. Damien’s not even that hot, so she can’t just be trying to impress him. Get a hobby Jenny.

Worst self-control: Nate and Serena. They apparently can’t even get through a dinner without doing the nasty. We’ll think twice before we check our coats at a function again.

Best role-playing character: Anna Karenina. If you can’t introduce literary characters into the bedroom, then you need to go back to the drawing board.

Most pathetic character: Dan. He got turned down by a girl and now he’s acting like one. If the Vanessa romance is meant to be, it will happen. You can’t stake the girl’s favorite coffee shop hoping to catch a glimpse of her. That will just freak her out.

Chuck went on a wild (or not-so-wild) goose chase to find out if last year’s mystery woman shares his DNA. When Blair and Chuck confronted the woman, she denied her connection to Chuck’s lineage, but Blair saw through her façade. We’re very interested in why Bart would make Chuck believe he killed his mother. Why torture a kid like that? What did you think?

We spoke with the actor about his work and it turns out he's gotten quite experimental.

You were in two Bollywood films in 2005 and 2008; what was that experience like compared with American film-making?
It is completely different and really great. It was a very magical experience working in a foreign country.

Read on about Michael's other adventures in acting, including his work with "Alice in Wonderland" director Tim Burton.

Do you have any plans to work in other feature films?
I’m constantly reading scripts, but no plans yet. A lot of it depends on the characters I read and what characters I think I can get into.

You’ve acted for television, film, theater and even a music video; what kind of acting is your favorite?
I would say the theater. The live audience is something you just can’t replicate. With television you shoot a five or ten-minute scene and then you take a two hour break, and then you do it again. It’s a lot of repetition. A play you just do all at once, it’s a completely different thing.

You acted in The Killers’ music video for their song “Bones,” directed by Tim Burton. What was it like working with him?
It was awesome. I almost didn’t do the job until I saw Tim Burton was on it. I was the last person lined up for the audition and I almost didn’t get to do it because I had somewhere else to be. But I auditioned and they called me and told me I had it.

Tim was the most meticulous guy, he had to make the hair perfect, the clothes, scene, everything. In the scene where Devon Aoki, the actress who was in the video with me, and I were kissing, we had to recreate a scene from "From Here to Eternity." We were on the beach and we had to kiss at the exact moment that the wave was crashing over us. Tim is definitely an artist and it was great to work with him.

If you couldn’t be an actor, what would you be?
There were periods in my life where I really wanted to get into astronomy. I had this class in college at like five in the morning, it was tough. Then for a while I thought I would be a dermatologist or a dentist. But I guess I just caught the acting bug. Finally, I had a friend in college that told me “you know what, if you really want to act you should do it seriously, not part-time." So I was kind of on the five-year plan for a while when I switched majors from biology to theater, but it really ended up opening a lot of doors for me.

What's better than 90210? Getting 90210 spoilers from Michael Steger, that's what.

We chatted with the actor about what to expect for the rest of the second season, including some sticky situations in which Navid will entangle himself. Check it out!

The new episodes of 90210 are starting this week, what can you tell us about what to expect?
Well, Navid comes back with some "paraphernalia" and he's trying to recruit Dixon and Liam to help him get Jasper in trouble by planting drugs in his locker. Dixon is probably going to get on board, but Liam is definitely not.

Read on about Navid's crusade against Japser, his potential new love interest, and when we see something out of Navid we don't expect!

Some of what makes Navid compelling as a character is his integrity as a journalist and the way he pursues big stories. Will he and his team be breaking any other big headlines in the upcoming episodes?
They're going to keep working at stories about student drug abuse. Lila, Navid's star reporter, will be left in charge with a very important job at The Blaze. She ends up allowing herself to be manipulated and not doing the job well.

It looks like Navid might have some pretty stiff competition from Rumer Willis’ character Gia. Is he still harboring feelings for Adrianna?
I think he's really trying to escape that relationship. I think he does still have some feelings for Adrianna, but he's going to have a new love interest with Lila. She's very similar to Navid in that she's just as ambitious and into journalism, and it's really going to help him get his mind off Adrianna.

Could that have repercussions for their professional relationship at The Blaze?
It could, it’s definitely going to show some other colors of Navid that we don't usually see.

Want to know more about Navid's dubious undertakings? Watch the all-new episode tomorrow night!

The 90210 star flew down to Puerto Rico this week for Roselyn Sánchez’s first annual Triathlon for Life, running with the likes of Nick Lachey and Kellan Lutz.

The event was hosted and put together by actress Roselyn Sánchez, the drop-dead gorgeous actress from "Without a Trace" and "Rush Hour." Proceeds from the event will benefit San Jorge Children’s Foundation and the Casa Cuna of San Juan.

We love it when our CW celebrities are do-gooders. It makes us resent their good looks, fabulous lifestyles and designer-filled closets less.

Cycle 14 of America's Next Top Model starts this Wednesday and we're not sure if we're more excited for the drama or the fashion. (We'd like to say fashion, but really, who are we kidding?)

But it seems drama is leaking to the wires already. Naduah, a 22-year-old contestant from Cancun, Mexico, revealed that she was brought up in a religious cult.

"I was born and raised into a cult, a religious cult; which is probably the reason why I'm no longer religious," Naduah tells her fellow housemates.

The aspiring model isn't letting her difficult past get in the way, she seems to be starting on a strong foot, "It was very difficult transitioning from the cult where I was as a child to the real world, you know, but I think I did it very well. It took me many years, but now I’m at a place where I don’t even recognize the person that I used to be before."

This certainly adds a new layer to the multifaceted backgrounds Tyra's picks have brought to the table. Only time will tell how it might manifest on the show.